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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Convoluted Stinkin' Thinkin'




Eddie turned 48 today.  Last night, while he was still 47, he told me I "don't act my age." Fifty year olds are often seen as stuffy and dowdy, so I understood this to be a compliment.  He fell even deeper into my good graces when he told me I "don't look my age" either--bless him. His declaration was music to my ears. He totally won me over when he said I look "significantly younger." 

I liked the ring of "significantly younger."  I thought he might be "the one." Floating on the clouds, I dared to hope he thinks I look like I'm  40--or if I'm honest, and really daring--35!  His next sentence burst my bubble, and brought me back to reality with a harsh crash. "You only look like you're 46." Forty-six!!! That's much closer to fifty than I care to admit. And it's an eternity from thirty-five. Guess he's not "The One" after all. (Breathe Eddie, you're off the hook!)

Sputtering "thank you" and "oh, how sweet," in a valiant effort to hide my disappointment, I compiled a  mental list of every thick, heavy duty wrinkle cream on the market.  Sadly, I realize I must be getting old--and mentally slow--because the real meaning of this conversation did not reveal itself to me until today.

Let's revisit High School Geometry, shall we? Where, once upon a time, we learned to prove complex theorems and mathematical equations. 

I'm fifty. I look "significantly younger" to my 47 year old friend--to him, I look like I'm  a mere 46 years old. We can therefore assume "significantly younger" than fifty is 46.  If forty-six is  "significantly younger" than fifty; it stands to reason the reverse side of that statement is also true--fifty is significantly older than 46. Are ya still with me? Forty-six is one less than 47, and as you will recall, Eddie is 47.  Therefore, using my astute critical thinking skills, I have deduced that while Eddie says I look significantly younger, he  actually  thinks of me as being "significantly older!"

Slathering on the thickest, heaviest-duty, wrinkle-reducing night cream in my medicine cabinet, I'm  wondering if "not acting my age" is a compliment after all... 
   

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Durant Daily Democrat - That’s who let the dogs out

Once again, Bandit got his picture in the paper and I was interviewed--only because he has not learned ESL yet!
Durant Daily Democrat - That’s who let the dogs out