Motorcycle Riding Turtle

Ever had one of those days when your reality was more bizarre than your dream? It's barely 8 o'clock on a Saturday morning, and already, I'm thinking this is going to be one of those days....

Rain or shine, workday or weekend, Bandit gets me up between 4 and 6 am, for his morning potty break. This morning our cardinal family was foraging on the ground reminding me that I keep saying I'm going to get a bird feeder. They left soon after Bandit appeared, so I decided to see if Bandit would like to play a little "almost fetch." He went after the ball one time and lost interest. He was also shivering so I gave the go inside command and he took off lickety-split. Only he didn't make it inside.

I was making a fashion statement in my obscenely thin gauze gown, fluffy purple house slippers, complete with silver hoop earrings I never took off yesterday, and my lovely keep-your-hair-from-tangling-while you-sleep-ponytail (sans the usual curler). That statement was: this is my going-back-to-bed-after-the-dog-pees-outfit, not my walking-the-neighborhood- calling-the-dog-outfit.

So I grabbed my keys, wallet, and iPhone and drove around the block with the SUV windows down, shivering because I was letting in the cool morning breeze, while calling for Bandit in a soft-enough-not-to-wake-the-neighbors-but-loud-enough-for-ALL-the nieghborhood-dogs-to-hear-and-return-the-greeting-voice.

I found Bandit peeing on the curb in front of the new house the crazy-neighbors-who-moved-around-the-corner are now living in. (Yes, the crazy neighbors who used to live next door didn't move very far. For a long time I didn't see them except on their walks around the neighborhood, so I knew they were still close by. Then I saw their sweet dog, Cody in the front yard of a house that I can see from the top of my stairs. I finally confirmed it last month when I drove around taking photos of all the snowmen built the day it snowed, and I saw the crazy neighbor ranting on his cell phone in the front yard.)

After Bandit peed on the curb, he decided he could still smell Cody on the weed next to it and anointed that as well. Once he had obliterated Cody's smell, and left his calling card to his satisfaction, he hopped in the SUV with me--but not until.

I was woefully low on Diet Dr Pepper, so we took the scenic route to a fast food place that shall remain nameless (who BTW were washing down the dumpster giving off a odoriferous sewer scent--I almost lost it when I rolled down the window to place my order). The scenic route also included checking downtown to see if it was Market Day (I knew it wasn't--it's the 3rd Saturday, but they have been off schedule due to the the winter months and the downtown road deconstruction--so I checked just to make sure). After I picked up my drink I decided to go to the dam to see the lake, and swing by my bank for my weekly allowance.

On the way back from the lake, I saw a turtle riding a motorcycle. I swear. This guy in ALL green, wore a squat black hat or helmet that sat right on his shoulders. He had no neck. He looked just like a turtle. About the time I refocused on the road ahead, I almost hit a badly limping deer, who was crossing the street to get from one subdivision to the next.

During all this confusion, I did spot a pretty little Bluebonnet stand with a nice tree back drop--had I picked up my purse, which houses my camera, I would have trotted Bandit over and obtained the obligatory yearly Bluebonnet photos--yes, I would have done it in my gauze gown, fuzzy purple house slippers, and earrings. Who was gonna see me? The motorcycle ridding turtle and the limping deer were far behind me.

Sitting here typing this, I just now realized I could have taken the photo with my iPhone.

Yep, it's gonna be one of those days. I'm going back to bed until I wake up--or at least dream a bizarre dream.

Let's Talk About Security...

Post 9-11 Airport Security to be more precise. I was totally amazed at the security measures during this trip.

My first trip to Israel was 14 years ago and I flew El Al. During that trip security was very through, even pre-9/11. I'm not sure what I expected this time, but it was not what occured.

I wore slip-on leather shoes--leather, to provide "foot protection" (assuming they remained on in an emergency). In case of airplane failure you're also supposed to wear sturdy jeans as opposed to shorts or something flimsy--the weather was cool, so I had no problem wearing jeans. I wore slip on shoes to facilitate the security process. However, because I was prepared for security, the only place I was required to remove my shoes was during the DFW->Philly leg of my journey and the corresponding Philly->DFW return. Philly->DFW was also the only place I was patted down--even though I never once set off the metal detector. In principle don't object to the pat-down. I personally have given more thorough pat-downs as a Psych Nurse. But my thought is: either do it thouroghly or don't do it at all, just don't do it half-way!

Israeli Security was interested in our Associate Pastor who had made two Missions Trips to Iran. When he returns to Iran, they will probably grill him about his reasons for going to Israel. The grilling is not likely to deter him. He has a heart for spreading the Good News to everyone, no matter what their nationality or "deservingness."

On the other hand, Israeli Security barely asked me any questions--coming or going. In fact, on the return trip, Israeli Security at Ben Gurion was rather lax with the agents joking around and flirting with one another. However, on the way to Israel, I felt DWF was overly obsessed with my laptop and can of black-eyed peas. I took the peas, and a box of plastic spoons to share with the group for New-Years-Day-good-luck-eatting. Ben Gurion and Philly Security couldn't have cared less about my black-eyed peas.

While I don't want to be grilled, I do want to feel as if everyone on my plane has been thoroughly screened and is in the air with legitimate, non-terroristic reasons. Maybe the Christmas Underwear Bomber had the US airports on heightened alert status, but honestly, have you ever seen a middle-aged, SWF, armed with a laptop and can of black-eyed peas as a terrorist?! I even left the can opener at home so they wouldn't be alarmed. Didn't work though, DFW was so alarmed they took my carry-on bag, laptop, and can of peas away and inspected them out of my presence. Wes and Aidia Riddle also wielded a can of black-eyed peas; however, nary an eyebrow was raised at their can. I guess I fit some little-known black-eyed-pea-terrorist-profile. Either that or my infamous cooking reputation preceeded me.

Speaking of food, when we finally arrived at our hotel in Caesarea, we were treated to the first of many sumptous buffet meals...