The novel is floundering. It's nothing so grand as Writer's Block. I know where I want it to go. I just don’t have a clue how to get there. Whatever made me think I could write a stinking novel? And as of now, that's exactly what it is—a stinker. I felt I needed to do something different, but didn't know what it was I needed to do. So, I did what I do when I don't know what to do: I Googled it.
I stumbled on a writing book I want, and I didn’t have a Spades game last night so I drove to Austin ISO it.
Four hours, two Half-Price Books stores, and six book purchases later (none of which was the exact book I wanted), I tiredly drove through a Chinese Drive-thru for a late diner. They didn't have enough chow mien for a bowl and offered to cook more (3-5 minute wait) or fill it half and half with chow mien and fried rice. I was really in the mood for the chow mien so I opted to wait. They talked me into an egg roll add-on for "only a dollar more," and because of my wait, the lady (manager/owner/cook?) added a free order of cream cheese won-tons. I ended up with enough food for a couple of meals.
I also had more than enough books to read (five were on the craft of writing, and one was for pure pleasure—even though I have 10 or so from Christmas gifts, and sacks of "to reads" waiting for when I finish my three current reads).
More than enough food. More than enough books. I was a happy camper…until I read the fortune cookie.
I want to be "swept off [my] feet by a tall, dark, mysterious, stranger"—not be told to "Change [my] approach to a long term goal." That's not a fortune—it's advice. I give advice. I don't take it. What was Fortune thinking?
And then I laughed because that was exactly what I had set out to do—I went to the bookstore to buy a book that would help me change my approach to the floundering novel…BTW, I still want to be swept off my feet by a tall, dark, mysterious, stranger—in case you're out there and reading this, I want to put your mind at ease—my reception of you will be warm and inviting…
Anyway, today, when I unpacked the leftovers (which did not make it to lunch and became breakfast instead), I found a second fortune cookie. Fortune received a second chance. Come on Fortune, Mama needs a tall, dark, stranger. Once again, I received advice: "For success today, look first to yourself."
At first glance, I thought it was too New Age and Existential—while I agree with the emphasis Existentialists place on uniqueness, freedom of choice, and responsibility for the consequence of your own actions, I'm not so keen on emphasizing isolated individual experiences in a hostile or indifferent universe. I began my protest by singing, "No Man is an Island."
After my SRO concert (that's how all my concerts are—of course they are usually in the shower, hence the SRO reference)—I thought the newest fortune contradicted the first fortune—after all, if the answer can presumably be found within myself, it can reasonably be assumed it is therefore not in a book—or even in the act of learning for that matter. (All my teacher friends shudder with me on that one. I love to read, learn, and try new things—surely there is a compromise between the dependency of being in learning status and the independence of self-reliance.)
Finally, I remembered a link I recently posted on FB—it was about the little 6-year old boy who swims and races 9-year olds who are single amputees—even though he's a double amputee himself, he amazingly keeps up with them. The caption across his photo says it all: "Your excuse is invalid."
So what can Fortune Cookies and Scrappy Little Boys teach me? Simple:
1) Learn new approaches to the Craft of Writing.
2) Get on with writing my story because no one else is going to tell it my way.
3) Accept no excuses.
The Apostle Paul would say, "Press on."
My hippie loving, child of the 70s self tells me, "Right on Sister! Write on!"
And so I shall…just as soon as I read a few pages…the books are calling to me, enticing me to read them, and learn from them, so I can apply them.
Old procrastination habits die hard.
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