Forgotten Story

I have a friend that keeps me in stitches. She's not a plastic surgeon or a seamstress. She just finds herself in downright hilarious situations. All the time.  In fact, just about every time we get together she regales me with one of her self-depreciating stories about deer middle schoolers, drive-through banking bungles, or her infamous Home Depot Date--she didn't pick someone up at the Home Depot--her date TOOK her there! On purpose. I'm telling you, when she tells her latest tale of woe, I weep

Last night was such a time. As we talked and laughed by telephone, I howled with laughter and squirmed in my seat in an attempt to avoid wetting myself.

At one point she said to me, "Please don't tell anyone about this."

Silly girl.

And then realizing to whom she was speaking she amended her plea to, "When you write about this, please don't use my real name."

Now that I have her permission to write about the incident--I'm punch drunk with fatigue--and I have totally forgotten the story!

So, to my anonymous comedic friend (whose initials start with--no, I promised I would not identify you, so I won't), please PM me a few key phrases so I can recall your story.

Two Shows and a Pause

I gave up cable years ago. It's not been a big loss. Once I've seen a show, I really don't want to revisit it nightly for the entire month—unless it's The Princess Bride. I watched TPB at least 25 times when I was in college, and I've probably seen it at least that many more times since then.

Because I don't have cable, I'm pretty unaware of current shows. However, I gave gotten hooked on a few cable shows thanks to DVDs, and Friends who tape shows they think I'll like. Most of the shows are cop shows—although I do like Duck Dynasty and Swamp People.

My Entertainment Pushers include Mama and Two Ladies of the Church (who happen to also be Spadettes—it's the nickname of our card playing group—although we have branched out and embraced a couple of non-spade games). 

First there’s Mama—she doesn’t have TV, let alone cable; however she does have a gazillion DVDs. Mama is my hokey "reality" show supplier. I’ve seen every past season of Duck Dynasty and Swamp People.  I have no clue what’s currently up with these people, but I’m well aware of everything about their past seasons.

Second, Miss Linda, my pseudo-Mama, feeds my Crime-Drama fix with a little Big Bang Theory thrown in for comic relief.  It started innocently enough several years ago when she introduced me to The Closer—right around the time it was coming to an end. Luckily, there was a fantastic spin-off that kept most of the characters, Major Crimes.   This obsession snowballed into the addition of NCIS, Risoli and Isles, and NCIS New Orleans.  As stated, BBT is our comedic relief.

Finally, Miss Sharon is my newest dealer. She tempts my competitive spirit with a game show. But not just any game show. She knows I'm special, so she picked out what she calls "the perfect show for you!"  She introduced it to me by saying, "I saw this show and I instantly thought of you!  You'd be perfect on it!"

Leery and apprehensive, I hesitantly asked what made her think if me--Miss Sharon is slightly notorious for her introductions. She once introduced a friend to her Sunday School Class by saying, "This is my friend so-and-so, I know she looks normal--but she's really not!" The friend in question was actually someone the others had been praying for and Sharon was referencing her unseen medical condition. 

When I asked Sharon what game show I would be perfect for, her response was an enthusiastic, IdiotTest!

I busted out laughing. The truth about what Sharon thinks about me had finally surfaced. After a good laugh, we settled down to watch. It's a funny show. I am amazed at how often I, a bright educated woman am in fact, an idiot. Or, how many times the idiot on the TV screen stumbles into the correct answer without knowing the answer.  Sadly, that is the case more often than not. We have decided the show needs a couple of auxiliary rules.

1). In order to retain your prize money, you must be required to correctly defend your answer—no winning by a lucky guess.

2). Failure to successfully defend your answer will result in forfeiture of your prize money.

3). The new name of the game show will be Two Shows and a Pause—because it sometimes takes us watching the show twice,  and pausing the screen so we can carefully read the question and discuss our options, before we finally come up with the winning answer.

And we always come up with the wining answer.

No matter how long we have to review and pause… And I sometime still contest the TV Host’s answer and rationale—but that’s because I’m always right—and we can prove it!  At the end of every show  we are the would-be winners of the $10,000 Grand Prize!

We rock this gameshow thing!