The LEOs and My Pseudo Parade

You know how the Thin Blue Line presence is always a tad bit more conspicuous on Holiday weekends? 

Well, I forgot this was such a WE...until I became the unexpected star of my own spontaneous pseudo mini-Mary Lou parade. 

It occurred Sunday, in between rain showers. I had driven over to Buc-ee's to  use a free vacuum code before it expired. Like the other four. I thought they were good for a year like the Buc-ee's Bath (my personal nickname for the car wash).  They are not. The vacuum codes are only good for 30 days. 

I left Buc-ee's vacuums (with a much cleaner and better organized SUV trunk), en route to my second HEB Curbside order of the day, (yes second--somehow, I got sidetracked and failed to order BOTH of the items that prompted my first order). 

Out of the blue, my brain announced the presence of flashing lights and a couple LEOs.  One ahead of me, one behind me.  Hence the pseudo mini parade reference.  

I was gaining far too quickly on the one in the lead position.  Almost as if it was standing still. Lying in wait. 

For me. 

Before my eyes glanced at the odometer, my lead foot quickly jerked away from the accelerator.  As it often does in these cases. It's as if my foot knows--and somehow wants to lessen my speed by attempting its own damage control efforts. Truth be told, if its touch were a tad bit softer to begin with, it wouldn't have to resort to the knee-jerk to keep me outta trouble.  Just saying. 

However, its touch was heavy, and it employed the jerk to help me slide by--under the radar.  Pun intended. 

In  some small Texas towns, meeting a LEO while driving 20-25 miles over the posted speed limit not only results in your hefty "donation" to the local PDs GoFundMe, it also results in a mandatory ticket to the ball, where you have opportunity to speak directly with their King, who is both Judge and jury.  

Ask me how I know. 

Thankfully, I was at least a tad bit shy of the quarter mark, so I'll be missing the ball this time around. 

As for the GoFundMe--the second LEO accelerated, and gained on me...

Then passed me.

By that  time I was almost ten under, (due to a combination of the aforementioned knee-jerk reaction, and the progression from access road to merge lane, and the interstate speed limit increase). 

In my head I made mental notes in case I needed to recall details.  Technically, I was 10 under the interstates speed limit and I was still in the merge lane.  But I was over the access road limit, amid construction barriers--although no workers were in the zone because of the holiday. So the ticket wouldn't be double

The rearview mirror LEO began his merge with the interstate. I added his illegal merge completion (before the broken white line, without signaling a lane change), as I prepared for our upcoming convo. 

He caught up to me, rode along side for a split second, then sailed past me...

As I in turn sailed past the idle, and empty, "slow down" SUV on the shoulder just seconds later. The idle "reminder" SUV was the one with the flashing lights. 

It appears I was never really in jeopardy of being pulled over as the moving SUV bypassed me in his chase for other, more interesting prey. 

After the disbanding of my mini parade, I made it to my second HEB Curbside pick-up of the day unscathed, and most thankfully, un-ticketed.  

I picked up the dog food and bottled water I forgot the first time around, and observed three more LEOs on the brief drive home.  My lead foot, now resting on the floorboard, lifted all three times--even as my brain told it speed control (aka cruise control) was engaged. 

Thank you, but no thank you--no more pseudo parades for this girl.