Men Are Frogs Theory: aka MAFT

(An out-of-order draft I never posted, written back in February.)

Several years ago, as I contemplated the actions of men, I realized that all men are frogs. (I also realized that all men are boys, but that's another post...)

Now, boys don't get your panties in a wad--being a Frog can be a good thing. Frogs come in many varieties ranging from common, everyday ground-hopping frogs to the more exotic red-eyed tree frogs. But, no matter the variety, they remain frogs. For the most part they are neutral (with the exception of a few poisonous ones-which we will pretend do not exist)...just as most Frogs are neutral, so are most of our guy-friends.

Our Frog may be the gay friend that gives us fashion advise. Or maybe he's the Frog that treats us like a pseudo-sister.  Perhaps he's the Frog who seeks out football-throwing advise from our inner-tomboy with the Staughbach-worthy spiral. These are all neutral Frogs--guys with whom we can be platonic friends. Frogs accept us--warts and all. Frogs do not become paranoid when we call them, ask them over, or visit them.

However, Frogs do have the capacity of becoming something else--most don't--and again that's okay, because we like our Frog friends. Frogs are safe. We can be our unmade-up, frumpy, pony-tailed, jeans-and-t-shirt-loving selves with Frogs...as long as they remain Frogs.

On a good day, a Frog may blossom into a soul-mate, our "one and only," our Prince Charming. This rarely occurs, but it can happen...on a good day...on a really good day.

Many Frogs may think they are a disguised Prince, only to meta-morph into nothing more than a poisonous Horny Toad. I'll take a nice neutral platonic Frog over a Horny Toad any day of the week. (Note: in MAFT, there are no Cougars--therefore, underageTadpoles are definitely off-limits!)

What brought this Frog re-reflection on? Starting to see a new beau? *Sigh* Sadly, no. Thinking of an old boyfriend? Gladly, no.  Observing the tail-tale signs of a Frog-turning? Nope, not even close. It's merely cold outside, and I'm sipping a double shot of "no sugar added" hot coco from an over-sized mug in an attempt to warm up! Still haven't made the Frog-Prince connection? Maybe I should tell you the mug is one of my newest acquisitions: it's PURPLE (my favorite color)--and it says "Still waiting for Prince Charming." :~)

Hope springs eternal.