Blue Night Entertainment

I ducked into WalMart tonight to pick up three items and the following is an account of the increasingly loud conversation I overheard taking place between two teenaged boys at the far end of the household cleaning product isle:

TB#1--"I don't know. She said it was blue."
TB#2--"Did she say what kind?"
TB#1--"No. She just said it was blue.  Look at this. You buy this and it's only $1. But then you buy this to put in it and it's $7.  That's messed up."

By this time I had drawn close and saw they were looking at the refillable air fresheners. I silently laughed and thought to myself--"yep, that's how they real you on to purchase their product and try to force you into product loyalty." But I remained silent. I was not in the mood to engage in any conversation.

They continued to mumble-grumble about the prices of things as I was passing by and, although I did not want to engage in conversation, I'm not adverse  to a little eaves-dropping, so I lingered to see which blue air freshener refill they purchased. My thoughts are in parentheses.

TB#2--"Well your room always smells like food."
TB#1--"That's better than what yours smells like."

(I'm pretty sure the conversation is now being played out for my benefit since I've finished looking at the air fresheners and am now sniffing the candles.)

TB#2--"So she didn't say what kind or anything?!"
TB#1--"No. She just said it's blue."
TB#2--"What about this one?"
TB#1--"That's not blue."
TB#2--"It won't matter. She won't know the difference."
TB#1--"If we get the wrong one it won't fit. We have to get the blue one."
TB#2--"This is so wrong--we don't have enough information to do this."

(Come on guys--this isn't a math word problem--just call and ask for the brand name.)

TB#1--pulling out his cell phone (wahoo--a boy with brains enough to ask for directions).  What if we take pictures?   (So much for asking for directions, but at least he's thinking of possible scenarios.)
TB#2--"Just call."
TB#1--whining--"I'm tired. I just want to go home." Starts to re-pocket his phone.
TB#2--"I thought you were going to take a picture."
TB#1--whining louder--"No bro--I just want to go home. If we take a picture. We'll have to come back."

(You might as well take the picture, because you boys are coming back.)

More whining ensues and I'm growing weary of eavesdropping, so I prepare to leave when a gaggle of teens walk down a perpendicular major isle on their way to the soda section. The Gaggle is extremely obnoxious and loud, as only bored teens can be.

So loud in fact, TB#1 says--"I could never be that loud and obnoxious."

(What?!?!?!?!)

"I mean. They are acting really dumb. I could never do that!"

(Ya think not?!?!?!?)

"I mean, man I can be loud and act dumb."

(Yes. You can.)

TB#2--"I can attest to that."

( I have no idea where he had heard that phrase: however, I promise you  I am not taking creative license--those were his exact words.  This only confirmed my suspicion that they were in fact performing for my benefit.)

TB#1--"Whatever!  But I do not cause drama in public."

(Oh no, ye of the blue refill delemia?  You think whining in WalMart is not drama?)

"I am at least more mature than some people who get loud in public and cause a scene."

(Think again, Blue Boy.)

"We need to pick a blue one and go."

By this time I had grown weary of the Blue-Debate so I placed the last candle I had sniffed in the basket. I would 'set it down somewhere' and just forget to pick it back up. Before you start in on me--that is not my usual behavior.  I normally go out of my way to straighten things up--I don't look for ways to make the stock-kids work harder. But I couldn't just leave empty handed--they would know I had only stopped to eavesdrop.

Anyway, somewhere between the real candle section and the check-out register I forgot to ditch it. As I passed back by I heard the boys still arguing about what to do and whining about being tired and just wanting to go home. And the loud gaggle were still making drama as the roamed the store with nothing better to do on a Spring Break Week Night.

Since I still had the candle when I arrived at the checkout I decided to buy it after all--where else could I find such fine entertainment for $5 except by the light of the Blue Light Speciak--okay, that's K-Mart, not WalMart.  Just work with me. I'm tired and just wanna go to bed.

Besides, the candle was blue.