My Left Palm Itched

In order to remember deadlines, pay certain bills,  or even attend fun stuff, I have to set alerts on my iPhone.  Before you even go there, this memory problem is not age-related. I’ve always been this way.  I’m not time cognizant. I have always lost track of time. In fact, I have to set two alarms for each activity.   The first alert is a “remember you have this” I set anywhere from 2 hours to 1 day before the event. The second alert is a “last chance reminder” I set 1-2 hours before the event. Knowing this about me, it will come as no shock that I remember very little  in the way of assignments or projects from graduate school—although, two of the more memorable do pop into my head from time to time, and have actually shaped what I believe. I say this because I went to school with  people who recalled entire tests—every essay question, and more disturbingly, all the multiple choice questions, with all the answer choices—in order of appearance! These students were sick, sick, sick, and they made me crazy.

I say all that to say, I actually remember an assignment from High School.  It was for a History Class during my Sophomore or Junior year. We were studying The Salem Witch Trails and were assigned a paper to write, by the time the list of approved topics got to me, the only  thing interesting was “Superstitions.”  So that’s what I researched and wrote about.  I have never been a superstitious person. Although I do avoid  stepping on cracks, since that involves Mama. And I don’t like working Psych Wards during a Full Moon. And I will not utter the Q word when a shift is without glitches. Well, okay, I might have an idiosyncrasy…or four. But other than that, I intentionally walk under ladders, love and allow free passage to black cats, and I don’t have a calm about re-opening my umbrella inside once I get to where I am going, so I can allow it to dry. Cracks, black cats, umbrellas, and ladders were pretty much the extent of my knowledge of superstitions until I researched and learned a lot of people have some strange superstitions.  And superstitions may in fact actually be based on past experiences or observations—even if they are faulty.

For example, Full Moons effect hospital admissions/ER visits,  and Labor and Delivery. It’s not so much that the moon is full as the gravitational pull of the moon. Even our tides are effected.

One of the superstitions I recall reading about is about itching palms. If the right palm itches, money is going out.  If the left palm itches, money is coming in. As it turns out, this superstition is true. Because every payday, my left palm itches. I’m most likely noticing it because having heard of this superstition, I am now more inclined to think about it either consciously or unconsciously. Therefore reinforcing its “validity” when it occurs.  When enough people “validate” an idea  it becomes “accepted” or  reliable. I personally subscribe to the notion that it’s a  form of self-fulfilling prophecy—it’s payday, I’ve heard my left palm should be itchy, and lo and behold—it is!  But to each his/her own.  The thing is, recently, on a non-payday day, my left palm began to itch.

I jokingly, if not longingly,  though perhaps my ship had come in—these 6-day work weeks are getting really old. How do people work this way for years?! Don’t say it—I know—they are usually a tad bit younger. I think I’ve surprised a few people who thought I wouldn’t last as long as I have.  So when my left palm started itching and it was neither payday nor my ship, I joked again and thought,  Maybe I won the lottery. Until I remembered, I didn’t play the lottery. No payday. No ship. No lottery. No long lost relative dying (thank you—I don’t like inheritances,  for the  simple reason:  somebody’s gotta die—besides, my family isn’t money rich—what they are rich in are a strong work ethic and pride of accomplishment). I checked my mailbox anyway. 

My Mortgage company had audited my account and found they had erroneously charged me a late fee and they were re-crediting my account a whole $19.99. Now, I ask you, why not be a full $20.00?  Who do they think they are kidding?  I know a $20 fee when I see one—even if they try to hide it by a penny. Then it hit me:  there’s probably a limit on the fee. Sly folk. Trying to Nickel and Dime me to death—but it’s all good, because my left palm itched and I’m getting it back. 

Having found the pseudo late fee, I thought that must have been why the incoming palm has itched. But my left palm was still itching. Then I opened up a letter from AT&T. 

It seems AT&T lost a Class Action suit I was unaware I was in. At first I thought it was another scam and started to toss the letter.  But the page was longer than it should be—and folded up. When I unfolded the page I found a check for a whopping $9.66  attached to the letter! Man-oh-man, I’m just rolling in the dough!  Not exactly an Erin Brockovich law suit settlement, but I’ll take it.

But more importantly:  my left palm was correct and it might make a believer out of me after all…unfortunately, it’s back to hard work for this girl, because my left palm is no longer itching…but my right palm is...