Bumper Stickers

Back in the day I had two bumper stickers on my car.  I loved those bumper stickers. I thought they were the funniest stickers I had ever seen. Looking back on them through my 2020 eyes, I now see them as pretty lame. 

But before you judge me remember something you think is funny or cool this year, is going to one day reveal itself as lame. 😉 

Think I'm wrong?

In about fifty years take a gander at the outfit you chose to wear to your high school prom,  or revisit your hairstyle in  any number of your yearbook photo ops.  What were you thinking?!

Can't find your own photographic proof? Google '80s hair style trends.  Think: big hair or bow head. Or for something less tangibly lame, try listening to a movie filled with  '70s Valley Girl or '90s Surfer Dude Speak.

Really.

I used to hate the word really. Really was used as a statement. A question.  Expressions of shock and disbelief. Agreement. Boredom. A conversation extender. And really was really over really used really just really about really every really other really word.

Really.

I mean...like really...like totally...ya know?

Don't let me get started on like and ya know. Or any other number of really annoying words or phrases.

But not all trends were lame. Some really (ugh) were cool. They escape me at the moment since I can't get really out of my head. But I'm sure there was something cool...I mean...really, 'cause the times shaped me, and I'm like really cool. 

But I digress. 

I had two funny bumper stickers.  One read: "Don't honk--I'm peddling as fast as I can!"  Sort of ironic since I now rely on cruise to keep my speed in check. And at one time I wanted to be a cross-country race car driver. Like Burt Renyolds in "Smokey and the Bandit." Okay, so that wasn't a cross country race as much as a cross country attempt to out run the law, but I didn't think anyone would get my ocean crossing road race reference.

 "The Great Race."

Talk about good clean comedy. It's one of my all-time favorite Tony Curtis/Jack Lemmon flicks. It's classic funny. 

The second funny bumper sticker read: "If you don't like the way I drive--stay off the sidewalk!" Again kind of ironic since I parallel park  much better and quicker than the park assist feature on my SUV. And except the lead foot thing, I'm a pretty safe drive.

Well, I at least keep it betwen the navigational lines on the roadway.

Usually.

And I never drive on the sidewalk. 

Until today.

In my defense, it really wasn't  a sidewalk. It was a curb.

And the curb poked out and crossed into my straight line path.

I really think the designer of our new Chick-fil-A's drive thru should rethink the way they have laid out the vehicular trajectory of that inner lane.

I couldn't even hightail it outta there if I dared.  So I just drove right up to the window like nothing odd had occured.

Besides they probably have that little fiasco on a blooper tape.  Even if they don't, they had my order. And my money. And my name.

Maybe I need to order some new,  prophetic bumper stickers. 

I could blow up (as in enlarge, not "go boom") a couple of my favorite fortunes from past Chinese  cookies:

"Your feet will tread on many soil." Recieved days before a planned multi-country trip.

And my favorite fortune...

"You will have a comfortable old age."

I love to travel. I really like comfort.  Now I'm just waiting to see when I start inching toward oldish. 😉

While they aren't necessarily funny, they aren't lame either--at least not today. 

I can see them on my bumper.