The Sale

I'm not sure who was having a rougher time processing my sale:  The middle-aged Clerk, or me.

I wanted a specific carpet cleaner, in a specific formula. I had purchased it a while ago at her local store. The last two times I went back to purchase more, the store was out of it. I still had a partial bottle of this magical liquid so I wasn't worried.

Until I upended the bottle the other day and spilled it.

Every. Last. Drop.

I went online to see if any other stores had it. Yep. Just not the same formula. It's kind of pricey and I didn't want to try another formula, that may or may not work, so I looked on Amazon.com--they have everything.

Sure enough it was listed. I could have it delivered to my door in a matter of hours. And since it was Prime, shipping would be free. What's not to love about door delivery with free shipping?

I'll tell you--the same size bottle, in the same formula, on Amazon.com, was over twice as much as I paid for it at the local store. So far, everything I've purchased through my second Prime membership has been the same price, or cheaper, than what I pay in the local stores. My first Prime membership was not as good an experience and I cancelled that puppy. But even as dissatisfied as I was the first PrimeTime, I have never seen such a vast price difference on the very same product in the exact same size.

Then I saw the local store where I originally found it, would allow me to order it online with store pick-up. All I would have to do is remember to pick it up.  They indicated they had one bottle on the shelf right now, so I could pick ot up today.  Then I saw the outrageous shipping fee they wanted to charge.  I'm not paying shipping fees to a store--especially for an item that is already stocked.  Besides, most stores that offer this service forgo the shipping--this store was not going to, so cheap-o that I am, I decided I would walk across the parking lot in this 100+ degree Texas Sauna to avoid the shipping cost. I usually score a parking space close to the store anyway, since it's in a stripmall, I rationalized, so it will be fine.

Besides, the last time I ordered online with a store pick-up (thankfully a different store), I forgot the item. Even with their reminder email.  When I finally remembered it, a week later, I went to the store (in this very same stripmall) and they had the audacity to tell me I had been so slow to come and get it,  they thought I didn't want it. So it was restocked, and my credit card was credited with the purchase price. I checked my statement amd found my ctedit card had in fact been credited the cost of the item.  I walked over to the shelf, and luckily it was still there, so I was able to purchase it before anyone else found it, and decided they needed it. 

But...embarrassing.

In order to remember my purchase this time,  I left the confirmation email open on my phone, set a reminder alarm on said phone,  taped a paper note to my wallet, and verbally reminded myself to drop by the store after meeting a friend for dinner.  I had even chosen the restaurant because it was near the stripmall where the store is located. 

Surely I had covered all bases and would remember my order this time.

One, or more of my reminders actually worked.

I huffed and puffed as I walked the 20 yards from my parking place to the store. I was hot. My rubber soled shoes felt sticky--like they were melting into the goo that is a parkinglot blacktop under the scorching Texas sun.  I could empathize with the  dinosaurs sinking in those tar pits in LA.  But I was saving the shipping cost, remembering my order, and more importantly, replacing my now depleated bottle of cleaner.

I was happy.

Inside the cool store (stuff-wise as well as temperature-wise), the lady in the line in front of me saw an endcap register display of the very same product I was picking up, and she commented on it.  Both the Clerk and I sang it's praises. I even mentioned it was so wonderful, I braved the heat  just to pick up my order. I also noticed it was advertised as being on sale, and it was 99-cents off.  It wasn't a huge discount, but sales of any proportion always make me happy. Actually, sales make me downright giddy.

Only...

The price listed as the "sale" price was the exact same price I always paid for it--in this very same store. And when I ordered it today it was the still the same price. I didn't say anything, but that store and I have a very different understanding of the meaning of the word "sale," and math word-problems like "99-cents off."   

I raved about the performance of the cleaner so much the customer ahead of me bought a bottle. I think I should get a commission. Maybe it should be the 99-cents they were supposedly saving me with their "sale."

Unless the price has gone up (or will be going up), I didn't get a sale price.  I also didn't get a commission for helping sell a bottle. And a few minutes after I stepped up to the counter I wondered if I was even going to receive my order...

When it was my turn, I said, "I'm here to pick up my order of this very same product." I motioned to the display ala Vanna White of Wheel of Fortune  fame.

"How many would you like? One? Or two?" Asked the Sales Clerk reaching for a bottle with each hand.

"Just one. I'm here to pick up my order." And I supplied my name.

Blank stare.

"I ordered it online with an in store pick-up." I explained.

"Oh....Let me check that out," she said as she read a few screens on her phone. "Yes, I see it right here. Now where would it be?" I swear she scratched her head as she looked under the cabinet and around the display.

Ever helpful, I pointed to a large  (about 4-foot tall) bright blue cabinet, and said, "Um, maybe it's over there." If I were the snarky smart-ass some people accuse me of being, I might have added, "With the large computer generated sign reading 'Pick-ups'."  But I'm not. So I didn't. Even though I rather doubted they were advertizing trucks. It's a cool store, but not that cool.

She made her way over to the big bright blue cabinet and attempted to unlock the combination lock--before she decided she needed her glasses to read the tiny numbers. I tried not to laugh or become impatient.  My eyes require asaistance too.

But I did smirk a little when she came aaalllllllll the way back to the register to get her glasses--which I pointed out were on her head! Okay, that was snarky.  Especially since I too have lost my glasses while they were perched on my head.

She seemed a little ditzy, so I decided I might need to pull up my receipt to ensure I wouldn't get charged twice.

That's when I saw the small print on my confirmation email that indicated that my credit card number had merely reserved the item. I still needed to actually pay for it.

So I placed my phone on the counter and handed over my credit card. After the purchase was completed she handed back my credit card and promptly dismissed me to assist the next customer.

Very efficient.

However, I wasn't through yet. "I still need it." I said after I placed my credt card inside my wallet.  My hand was outstretched. 

She looked at my hand as if it were a green Martian hand.

"I still need it." I repeated. I was so flabbergasted that my words failed me, and that phrase was all I could say.

She pointedly looked at my phone still on the counter, and I could see the wheels churning. She thought I was expecting her to pick up the phone--just inches away--and place it in my open hand! And she clearly was not going to do this. Which was a good thing, because that's not what I needed.

Finally, I was able to find some words and say, "I still need my purchase."

That startled her and reminded her I needed the merchandise I had ordered online and purchased in her store. After what seemed like an eternity, she handed it over.  I picked up my phone, and left the store. I didn't even wait for a bag. I came up with the right words to ask for a bag--but I was afraid that request might send her over the edge.

Then she wouldn't be able to assist anyone else with this non-sale "sale" item.  It really is good stuff--even at full price.