No Longer "Twisted"

I had my first colonoscopy yesterday--(yeah, I know I'm a couple of years overdue). Piece of  cake: that's what I had as my reward afterward--actually, it was a mini cupcake--thank you Sharon!!!

Although the prep was not a piece of cake--that's prohibited--it wasn't all bad: I had no cramping and no suddenly frantic dashes to the potty.  Of course, that may be due to the fact I didn't have to drink the dreaded "GoLYTELY®"  like we use at the VA. (Scott and White had me use "Dulcolax®" and "MiraLAX®.")  Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that I put myself on a liquid diet after Spades on Monday--several days ahead of schedule. Or maybe it's because I did "extra" prep--I had a reason other than torturing myself.  :~) Or maybe it was a combination of any or all the above.

On Tuesday, I vacillated between cancelling the procedure and going ahead with it when I realized this was the week of both Bunco AND Alicia's first time to ride in the Saint Patrick's Day Parade (she informed me months before I WOULD be in attendance).  During one of the vacillation periods I ate a handful of peanut butter filled pretzels, and that night I had a cup of ramen noodle soup--and feeling deprived, I  added a cup of mashed potato's as a bedtime snack. Mashed potato's are my stand-by comfort food.  I also decided for sure that I WAS going to go through with the procedure even though I had been looking for every opportunity to avoid it.

Because I didn't want to be playing Bunco DURING the bowel prep, I started it a night early--and did extra.   On Wednesday, after Choir Rehearsal,  I took four dulcolax, resumed  the strictly liquid diet, and drank 32 oz mirilax  in reduced calorie/reduced sugar apple juice (which is the ONLY time I drink juice made from concentrate---it's watered down). This is the normal first part of the prep--but because I would repeat it after Bunco, it was the "extra" I referred to earlier. The mirilax didn't alter the taste of the reduced sugar apple juice at all, and it didn't give me cramps like too much sugar will. So far, so good.

Thursday I remained on the liquid diet, and whilst my Bunco friends were enjoying taco salad, I sipped beef broth with garlic and yearned for ramen noodles. LOL

I waited until after Bunco to start the rest of the bowel prep (which was actually the bowel prep most folks follow--just my times were altered).  I took the dulcolax as well as the  mirilax--this time in G2 (the reduced sugar Gatorade). I chose the only flavor I have been able to tolerate: Glacial Freeze--the blue stuff--it's actually pretty good as far as Gatorade goes. Again, the mirilax didn't alter the taste, and I experienced no cramping or bathroom dashes--it just made my poo look a little wonky-or more aptly--it looked "smurffy."  :~)

Friday morning I awoke to black skies, very cold temperatures, and pouring down rain. It matched my disposition.  At work, not only was I kicked out of my office because the nursing students were there--it was their last day and they brought food--LOTS of the yummiest smelling food ever cooked--in crock pots so the smell was overpowering all day long--and they placed candy on the table where we have our Interdisciplinary Team Meeting (which I have to facilitate--so I couldn't avoid the smell-good room). I was now drooling at the mouth, growling in the stomach, being food-assaulted at every turn,  on clear liquids, and drinking the remaining mirilax while at work. Oh yeah, my disposition was definitely not sunny. To top it off, I knew I had some Crystal Light in my desk and was planning on mixing it in the final 32 oz of mirilax (that's what S & W tells you to do anyway)--but when I looked at the packet I realized although it was lemon--it was not strictly lemon--it was lemon-berry--BERRY=RED--which is PROHIBITED on the final day of the prep...so I drank it in water. Not terrible, but not nearly as pleasant as when cut with something else.

So I have now starved myself all week, but I've been able to work (even the morning of my procedure), attend Choir Rehearsal, and play Bunco--all with out cramping or urgent bathroom runs.  I stepped on the scales to see if I had lost any weight...two lousy pounds. That was all. I guess ANY weight loss should make me happy, but it didn't. Of course, it DID confirm my theory that I am NOT in, fact "FOS" (FOS= full of you-know-what) as so many folks believe!   :~)

The only hitch with the colonoscopy was it started later than planned. The results were mixed: The good news is, it was clear, no polyps, I don't have to repeat it for 10 years, and I don't remember a thing (thank you IV fentanyl--due to my medical history they didn't want to do the regular knock out drugs--Versed and Demerol). The bad news is I was "twisted"--well, not me--just my bowels--but my Doctor was able to untwist me.  :~)

So, I guess you know what this means:  I am neither twisted nor FOS....and I now have medical proof!  :~)